Available for the cascade
Years ago on (I think) the public radio show RadioLab there was an episode where they talked about the way kids start to understand numbers in a more complex way; and learn to differentiate quantity beyond 1 and more than one. And they said that a kid experiences a leap of faith moment and then a cascade. I was probably 30 ish when I heard this. I would have had my eating under control for a few years. I didn’t really get it at the time.
Years later, as I was trying to improve my crochet skills, my husband bought me a book of symbol patterns for crochet. And I had one of those moments. I don’t know if I thought of it as a leap of faith, but I definitely had the experience of a cascade of all of these pieces tumbling into place, and then suddenly I had a brand new frame of reference for the world. This has happened to me over and over again since having my eating under control. As a writer, as a knitter, as a designer, as a person who wants to learn to do things.
I often think that I should be “farther along” in my life purpose, I mean, 46 is no spring chicken, and that if I were good enough or smart enough or whatever enough, that I would be.
But I keep being reminded lately that innovation is built on past innovations. That knowledge requires a basis of previous knowledge. And why would that be any different for my life?
I couldn’t learn much when I was eating compulsively. Maybe because I was too high. Maybe because I was too busy eating. Maybe because I didn’t have a lot of capacity for faith or leaping. But now that I have boundaries around my eating and I am able to keep moving forward, I am available for the cascade.
onceafatgirl 