More brain space for all this *gestures vaguely*
Yet another week of too much to think about, too little to say.
I suppose in most contexts that would be a good thing. In blog writing, not so much.
What I have to say is that I am not thinking about how to get thinner. I am not thinking about how other people are looking at my body. I am not obsessing about food. I am not worrying about what I am going to eat next or when. Or how I am going to get it. Or who will see me eat it and what they will think about it.
And that has been true as long as I have had boundaries around my eating. My weight has fluctuated greatly over the past 18 years of food boundaries. For me, the peace is not in the weight but in the eating. Or rather, in the ability to stop eating constantly and compulsively.
So that’s a lot of free space in my brain now because I keep boundaries around my eating and avoid my drug foods.
I firmly and fully believe that I only get to have the awful, cathartic, painful, wonderful, exhilarating, worthwhile experience of growing into my most authentic and content self by keeping my eating under control.
So I keep doing it. And now maybe I have a chance to be even better than I thought I could be.
onceafatgirl 