An excellent maker
On Friday night I met up with a friend to see a show at The Chicago Theatre. It was fun! I got to spend some quality time with my friend! But, like almost anything social, it was at the worst possible time for me to plan my dinner.
But I made a plan. I was going to bring my dinner with me, check it at the theater coat check and eat it with my friend after the show.
But if there is one thing I have learned about keeping my eating boundaries “no matter what,” it’s to call ahead.
So I did. And they told me in no uncertain terms, that any unsealed outside food items would not be allowed in the building.
And I heard that. I didn’t argue. I didn’t complain. I accepted the rule.
So I made a new plan. Now I knew I *had to* eat before hand. I made the smallest meal I could, got to the venue early, and had a seat on a stoop in the city and ate and people watched.
It wasn’t my favorite meal. It wasn’t the most comfortable eating experience. But I stayed within my eating boundaries, got to enjoy the show with zero worries or regrets. Got to see and be present for both the show and for my friend.
The other thing I want to say is, I took responsibility for my eating, my timing, and my life. I could have not called ahead about my meal. I could have assumed and felt entitled and brought my homemade meal. And I could have been humiliated for not calling ahead and then I could have been angry at the person doing their job for not letting outside food in.
In fact, aside from the fact that I wouldn’t have been bringing sugar free foods anywhere when I was eating compulsively, the rest is exactly what I would have done if I were still in active addiction. I would have been embarrassed and then made it everyone else’s problem.
I am responsible for all of the things in my life. I guess I always have been. I just didn’t want to *take* the responsibility when I was eating compulsively. Now I am grateful for all of the ways I can take responsibility. I learned that first with my food and my eating, and then everything else. Because when it’s in my hands, I can make something of it. And I’m an excellent maker.
onceafatgirl 