Creative problem solving at its finest
Last week I wrote about how I know I am a food addict because I freaked out when I realized I only fed my entirely fine kitten 3 meals instead of 4 one day last week. How my brain is not rational around food. Well I got another reminder this week from a different quarter.
In the morning I often pack my husband’s lunch box for work. And he likes a snack of an apple dipped in yogurt and crushed peanuts. It’s a quarter cup of peanuts. I measure it out. Not like I would for me. (I actually don’t eat most legumes, including peanuts. They trigger sugar cravings for a lot of sugar addicts.) It’s heaping instead of flat. If a few don’t fit and fall out of the cup I give them to him anyway.
But I can tell how hungry I am by how big or small that bag of peanuts looks to me.
A lot of times people are incredulous that after 19 years and 10 months I can’t just eyeball my food by now. Like how do I not know what 4 ounces looks like after almost two entire decades? How could I still need to weigh it? Every time?
But I know that I am still very much not normal around food because I cannot even eyeball someone else’s peanuts that have zero effect on my life. Some days in the same week that bag looks so abundant I think “wow! That is a lot of peanuts!” And alternatively “Ugh. What a pittance!” Sometimes on consecutive days!
One thing I learned to do by accepting my sugar addiction was meet myself where I am at. I cannot eat sugar like a normal eater. And I love to eat and cannot get myself to stop. So I gave up sugar, and made sure that all of my food is always delicious. Creative problem solving at its finest.
And it still works 19 years and 10 months in.
onceafatgirl 