I’m good at string
This week I got my first ever bout of covid. Four years is really not a bad run, I think. And it was not fun but it was a mild case. The most noticeable thing about it for me was my inability to think.
But I also got a lesson in the positive aspects of not being able to think. Because I went on line, found a tutorial on embroidery flowers, and just…did it?
There are some things I need to note. Because I crochet dolls, I already had a crapload of embroidery floss for giving dolls faces and making small pieces and accessories. And I had recently bought an embroidery hoop to mend some pants. So I did indeed already have the basic stuff. And I did not have to make the point of acquiring supplies.
But I do not just do things. I think them. And then rethink them. I wonder if and how. I deconstruct and rebuild in my mind. I step back and look at it from all the angles. I make contingency plans. And contingency plans for my contingency plans.
And then I act. Slowly.
But I didn’t have the bandwidth this week. So I just picked up an old pair of pants that had been in a donation pile and started going through the tutorial flower by flower.
It’s no surprise to me that I was immediately good at it. I’m good at string. What was surprising was that I was just as good without overthinking.
What was surprising and kind of scary was recognizing how much time I waste on overplanning.
This is not to say that the planning and the thinking are all bad. When I was in the food I was absolutely a “jump in and hope you don’t drown” kind of person. And what happened then was usually that someone who was not me had to save me. Usually my mother. So rest assured I don’t mean that.
But perhaps I don’t need a 17 step ritual dance to start a baby blanket.
I think a lot about time. Because I want things. And because I am a practical person. And once I understood that I had to manage my time to fit my priorities into my life, I started to respect both time and priorities on a higher level. So this feels important. To me. To my life. To my art. I want to use that time. It’s mine. (I only want what’s coming to me. I only want my fair share.) So now comes the work of change. (Again. Still.)
And also, I have a new set of skills with string. So there’s that.
onceafatgirl 