It’s all downhill from here
I feel different this week. Energetically. Emotionally. Freer. Less tense.
Two weeks ago I interviewed to teach art to little kids at a parks and rec. With the possibility of planning and teaching some one night adult classes. I am waiting to hear back about a second interview.
But either way, whatever happens, this feels right. To teach art. To teach craft. To hone my own skills. Of art and craft and teaching.
I am actually not saying that this is my dream job. Or the ultimate goal for me. It’s true I am fascinated by both art and craft and the interplay of them. I have a lot of ideas for classes I want to create. But I am also a performer at heart. And in the past few years I have found my voice again for the first time since I was 20. (I mean literally. I am hitting notes I haven’t hit since I was a kid.) And I want some of that too. I want a lot, and lot of everything.
But teaching at a parks and rec seems like a really enjoyable and exciting way to make some money and express my creativity and foster creativity in someone else, while I explore all of the possibilities for my talents.
One thing I really learned to appreciate when I got my eating under control was that humility was not about underrepresenting what I could do. It was about really honoring what I could do. But recognizing that it was not a thing that had much to do with me, per se. I kept sugar out of my system and abstained from eating compulsively, and I got a clear head and the motivation to do things, make things, be a certain kind of person, be committed to certain things.
And the longer I kept my eating under control the more I became excited about the commitments I made. The more I loved my life.
I feel like I have crested the hill of a new way of thinking. A real shift in the way I see myself and the world. And while the way down may (will) be rocky, I plan to take it easy and trust the process. After all, if it’s all downhill from here, there is plenty of room to coast.
onceafatgirl 