Not the same person anymore anyway
I recently started doing my meditation practice as a walking meditation with a mantra. The mantra is Slow is smooth. Smooth is fast.
I made the change because I felt like my mind was wandering during sitting meditation. It has definitely been a good experience so far. My mind doesn’t wander nearly as much. Plus I am getting an interesting look at how many “programs” I have running at the same time in my head.
I don’t know if changing my meditation will change anything else, but my experience is that small changes *can* cause huge unexpected transformations.
When I got sick in early 2022 I got adult onset asthma. But I didn’t know because I hated doctors. And I am deeply stubborn.
I couldn’t breathe to jog, but I had a commitment to workout 5 days a week. A COMMITMENT! I take that shit seriously. So for as long as I could I still jogged. And it was brutal. I was making myself sick and dizzy regularly. And then like NINE MONTHS LATER I started walking stairs instead of jogging.
Stairs changed so many things for me. First by butt. I started to have a butt. Which changed my entire outlook on skinny. Because I *wanted* a butt. I was actively trying to get bigger not smaller for the first time in my life. For anyone who was ever a fat girl, you know this is monumental. And my daily cardio is still stairs, though now on a fancy stepper where I regularly step a 10 minute mile which both makes me deeply proud and keeps my butt getting bigger!
And somewhere in there, yes also with the desperate pleas of my husband who likes me very much it would seem, I even waded my way through first using urgent care, then getting myself a doctor and actually taking care of my asthma and the rest of my health. Like blood work and mammograms and the whole nine. Decades of terror and trauma dealt with in less than a year.
How??? I don’t know. But I wasn’t the same person anymore anyway.
I don’t know if walking meditation will change anything. But I can’t say that it won’t. The truth is I am ready for change. And I’m telling Life by making some changes of my own in my time.
onceafatgirl 