onceafatgirl

“Are we playing Whiny Babies?” -Emily Henry

I was having a hard time coming up with a topic today because the main thing taking up my brain space is embarrassing to admit. Whiny. Cranky. Unenlightened. Bad vibes. 

Here’s the thing. I feel personally disrespected by a thing that happened recently. But when I look at it, in context of the situation, I have no right to expect literally anything. It is not for me, it is not about me. So I just backed out of a small event. And normally that would be totally cool. I usually appreciate that not everything is for me. 

So why am I still thinking about it? On a loop? I really don’t know. But I am not over it. I am still offended.

One of the things I know, partially because I am old, and partially because I am a spiritual seeker, is that ideas are nothing without hands. The most brilliant concept still needs a body to make it come true. Faith without works is dead. And there is no faith and are no works without tribulations.

So I can be over here on this side of my screen writing about a life beyond my wildest dreams, and talking about good vibes and the power of our minds, which I believe in wholeheartedly. But it doesn’t mean anything if you don’t know I am also petty and judgmental and can’t let go of a minor slight. (It really is so minor. I’m an absolute whiny baby.) 

I guess this means that there is something that I need to look at, change, figure out. Because I firmly believe this is a gift and a lesson. A sign. Or why would I still be thinking about it?

And it has to be about me, because I honestly don’t have a relationship with the person I’m upset with. And I literally may never see some of the people again in my life. 

But I believe emotions are sign posts. And while I was eating all of my be feelings, I couldn’t read any of directions. But now, 20 years of feelings later, I can feel them, analyze and evaluate them, and then get to work.