onceafatgirl

Peace is better than chocolate

Because I’m not willing to find out when tomorrow might be

My morning routine on work days is waking up and going on my 2 mile jog, some pushups, crunches, and planks, shower and get ready for work, and then eat my portion-controlled breakfast at my desk.

But on my way to work the other day, my cooler went flying and I lost part of my breakfast to the seats and floor of my car.

Having something go wrong with my food always makes me feel a little panicked. Even after over 12 1/2 years. Even after a past that includes a million things going wrong with my food and everything turning out just fine.

I think this panic is probably pretty healthy for me. It keeps me from saying “screw it.” It keeps me from thinking “I’ll just start again tomorrow.” The truth is, I don’t know if I have another start in me. And if I do, there’s no guarantee it’s tomorrow. It could be 10 years and 200 lbs from tomorrow. I have seen it happen to others before. And I don’t want to find out if that’s me or not. That panic keeps me focused on getting what I need to keep my eating boundaries intact.

But there *is* something that 12+ years has taught me. And that is to be prepared for accidents, mishaps, problems, and human error.

So I keep backup of all of the food I need for my portion controlled meals at work, and a small, digital food scale (with extra batteries) in my purse.

When I got to work, I just used the backup I had to have the breakfast I was going to have in the first place. And it was delicious.

And, I have to admit, the rest of my day was pretty awesome! Not in spite of the fact that I had a rocky start, but because I did, and I came through keeping my promises to myself.

The truth is, that even with all of the backup I keep, and the lengths that I go to to be prepared, things could have gone wrong. I mean even more wrong than losing part of a meal, and having to clean it off of my leather seats. That is the way of the world. But I am willing to do anything it takes to keep my food under control. I had money if I needed to stop and buy something. I have people to call if I have a problem that I don’t know how to, or can’t fix. I have the willingness to listen to the direction of those people. And, most importantly, I have a willingness to keep my promises about my food and my boundaries in any and all situations.

Being prepared, being honest, and being willing to do whatever it takes are the most important tools I have in keeping my eating under control. In the long run, I am happier for having panicked, and then fixed my problem to keep my boundaries, than if I had let it go and “started again tomorrow.” Whenever tomorrow would have been.

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