If it’s right it will be
Four months ago I assumed my husband and I would live in our house in the suburbs of Chicago until he retired. And then we would move somewhere warm.
And today we put in an offer on a Chicago condo with the expectation that we will keep it until we move to a lakefront Chicago condo in retirement.
I absolutely love this! I am a city girl at heart. When I started this blog 14 years ago I was a single girl living in NYC. I love public transportation. I love walkable neighborhoods. I love the energy of a city. I love city fashion. I love 24 hour convenience. The ability to blend in or stand out as you see fit in the moment. I love the ability to find anything and everything you are looking for and so many things you didn’t know you were looking for until you found them.
When I keep my eating under control I can be flexible, I can go with the flow, I can enjoy the ride. I can change my mind, and I can be available for my husband to change his mind.
Don’t get me wrong. If I would have been unhappy I would speak up for myself. It’s not that I would be unhappy, so much as overwhelmed. Stunned.
We have had a loose plan for most of our relationship, and one day about 4 months ago, my husband said he wanted to entirely change the plan. And if I were in the food I would have had to have a whole-ass panic attack about something like that.
Because even if I love cities, it’s a huge change. It’s a major downsizing of our stuff to fit into a smaller space. It’s leaving the place that has been my home for 13 years and my husband’s for over 25 – a place we renovated to be just our taste. It’s grocery shopping with a cart not a car. It’s keeping my 10 year old car until the wheels fall off instead of getting a new one because I will need a car to live on the road for my husband’s job, but won’t want a nice car in the city.
It’s a whole bunch of future happenings that I have not had a decade plus to consider and imagine and troubleshoot.
But I trust.
For as long as I have had my drug foods down and my compulsive eating in check, whenever I didn’t get what I wanted – the job, the apartment, the boyfriend – I always ended up with better than I thought I wanted.
I really want this condo. I love it. But I also believe very strongly that I get the best, most right, most beneficial treatment from life. Every time all the time. And that if we don’t get this home, it’s because the best home for us, the “right” one, is somewhere else.
onceafatgirl 