At least on par with my wildest dreams
Over the past few weeks, since we started the process of buying our new condo, it occurred to me that at 48 years and eleven months old, my childhood dreams are all coming true.
I love my body, I am a decade married to the childhood crush of my life who I lost touch with for 20 years, and now I am going to be traveling the country but coming home to a high rise South Loop Chicago apartment with amazing city views, and some of the best public transportation in the world.
And all of that has me 1) recognizing how powerful I am. And 2) realizing that I don’t know what I want for the future.
I have been asking myself what I want to create for myself, who I want to be, and what that would look like. And frankly I am coming up blank.
And not just coming up blank. Blocked. It feels like hitting a different kind of glass ceiling. Self imposed, and at least a little opaque. A frosted glass ceiling if you will.
So I have been looking. For directions on how to unblock my creativity. For physical actions I can take to shift my thinking. For solutions, both practical and woowoo.
Because if there is one thing I have learned about my life since I have had my eating under control, it is that if I seek, I will find. Maybe not what I expected, but something as good or better than I asked for.
So I am out here seeking. What I want to put out into space. How to be more authentically myself. How to be of service in the best way for me. How to hold my own joy and peace and also bring joy and peace to the people around me. What my next right move would be.
I trust that as long as I keep my drug foods out of my body and live my most authentic life, that I will continue to have a life beyond my wildest dreams. Or at least on par.
onceafatgirl 